Tuesday

July 22nd, 2014 5PM

Joke:
Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
FML:
Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FMyLife
Picture:
I go to the beach to pick up chicks...
I Go To The Beach To Pick Up Chicks Funny Body Building Lifting






Monday

July 21st, 2014 4PM

Joke:
Q: Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?
A: The lid said, "Twist to open."
FML:
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FMyLife
Picture:
Park better next time...
Park Better Next Time Funny Truck Pushing Car Bad Parking






Friday

July 18th, 2014 3PM

Joke:
Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday?
A: Because the sun was out.
FML:
Today, while out grocery shopping with my mother, she asked me to hold a large bag of rice for her. Ten minutes later, I realized I'd been absent-mindlessly stroking it the whole time, just like when I pick up my cat. People were looking at me. FMyLife
Picture:
When my friend says is that a roach behind you...
When My Friend Says Is That A Roach Behind You Funny Scared Dog